Been there, heard that!  Check-out excerpts from this “unfortunate but true” article by Melissa T. Shultz, What not to say to a cancer patient:

“Three little words kept me from sharing my feelings with family and friends until long after my cancer treatment was done:
“You’ll be fine.”

Though well-intended, the words were conversation-enders, and made me feel guilty for being sad and frightened…”

Here are some other things the article recommends not to say:

“My friend died of cancer”
“You’ll be fine — a positive attitude is all you need”
“Call me if you need anything.”

Read more about what not to say–as well as more positive alternatives–by going to: not to say.

Feel good and keep smiling!  Pat

2 thoughts on “What Did She Just Say?

  1. I can add a couple of things to that list! While talking to two sisters recently (on separate occasions), they were telling me that their brother-in-law has cancer. The first woman that was telling me about his cancer couldn't remember the exact kind, but said it was "in his blood". I told her that's what my husband has, to which she replied, "No, it's not multiple myeloma. That's probably what we wish he (the brother-in-law) had." I could have slapped her in the face. Then, I was talking to the other sister just a week ago, and she said that at first the doctor's thought the brother-in-law had MM, and she said "I thought, I can live with that." I wanted to tell her that those words would never come out of her mouth if her own husband was diagnosed with MM. I truly wouldn't wish cancer on anyone, but sometimes I think everyone should have to walk in our shoes, even if only for a day.
    P.S. I hope this all makes sense, as to "who was saying what"!

  2. That makes total sense, Bev! There are certain things only one survivor can say to another.

    For example, I feel fortunate to have myeloma instead of a number of solid tumor cancers.

    But I can say that, right? And that said, there are so many other cancers where a person has a real shot to be cancer and treatment free and get on with their life.

    Maybe I/we aren't so fortunate after all… Pat

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